Monday, February 4, 2013

his hands

"they take his hands, his mighty hands, those gentle hands
and then they pierce them, they pierce them
he lets them, because of love
from birth to death was selflessness
and clearly now i see him with his hands
calling to me
and though i'm not yet as i would be
he has shown me how i could be
i will make my hands like those from galilee"

i've had a lot of time to ponder my Savior's atonement for me recently during my drives to and from church. and the other day, i listened to this song and it just made me cry. driving down the freeway, i just felt an immense amount of gratitude for what he did for me. 
i've also been thinking about my mission a lot lately. so much i miss about it. while driving down to provo on saturday night, monika and i were talking about some mission memories and we remembered how we never felt unsafe knocking on a door or teaching crazy people because we simply had SO MUCH love for these people and knew that the gospel can change their lives. the world would be a better place if we could all be this way. sadly, we get caught up with the things in life. 

anyway, serving my mission allowed me to create a bond with a bunch of people who are like family to me. there's something about the mandarin speaking missionaries and how tight we are.
this past saturday, i had the chance to gather with this 'family' of mine (it's been awhile since we last gathered) and it was the most heartwarming night i've had in awhile.
we got together and made dumplings together. it was quite the scene in the kitchen with people making the dumpling skin, mixing the filling, boiling the water, chopping vegetables, etc but it felt just like family and it was the cutest sight to behold.
wrapping two types of dumplings: pork and vegetarian
cooking the dumplings (and you can see other hardworking people in the background)
it was pretty chaotic outside too with everyone gathered round the table, making the dumplings
so glad these two could come down from logan to join us :)
it was nice that everyone's plus ones could come because that makes our 'family' bigger and thats always fun. plus, these two are too cute!
tasting the dumplings
and of course, i'm being super asian. marcus tanner failed me - that boy always likes to be super asian in photos but he decided not to be this time i guess. 
and then of course you have to close the night with mahjong! i only got to play like two games though cause there were too many of us hahaha
i love these girls with all my heart. so so grateful for them ALWAYS. 

honestly, 2013 has been a hard year for me so far. i felt sad a lot during the first month of the year and now that we're into the second month, it's already been hard.
i find myself on my knees a lot and this morning i came across a scripture from my friend michelle's facebook that really strengthened me and reminded me that my heavenly father is listening to my prayers. 
"Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning these things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand."
SO grateful that the scriptures can always bring direct comfort to the soul. 
yesterday my heart broke and i guess it couldn't have come at a better time cause i go back to singapore in 4 days and singapore would be the only way i can heal. 
God knows best. He always does. 
so yeah, i'm really looking forward to singapore. chinese new year, my beloved family, good food, my lovely friends. it's going to be so amazing! i might not want to come back hahaha. in the meantime, i'll be slogging away at work trying to clear all my work so my boss won't panic as much while i'm gone hahaha.  



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