Tuesday, November 19, 2013

opening my heart;

i know no one needs to hear once more about how i've closed my heart up this year because of flaky relationships and negative circumstances.
but good news, my heart is beginning to open. 
two blog posts ago i talked about how i've been reminded to focus on positive thoughts and a positive attitude. 
well, it's really worked miracles because just over the past two weeks, i've found myself actually making a pretty big effort to reach out to all my friends - something that i haven't done in a long time because i didn't want to put myself out there to be hurt again. 
my fear of vulnerability kept me from connecting with others and put a void in my life to a certain extent. 

i've since learned about the power of vulnerability and am determined to try to look on the positive side of it even though vulnerability may sound like a negative word to others. 
the key is to focus on people who you know love you very much and care a lot about you. 
there are people i still keep out of my life because i don't feel ready for them but i believe that as i slowly heal with the help of the people i love, i will one day be able to accept those people back into my life (unless of course i deemed them to be poisonous to me). 

while i was talking to vicki yesterday, we talked about how we all need to be more grateful in our lives. and then i remembered what i heard in church. one of the speakers talked about elizabeth smart and a particular entry in her book from thanksgiving 2002 when she was being kept captive. in that journal entry, elizabeth smart recounted how she counted her blessings that thanksgiving day first beginning with her gratitude that she still had a belief in God and that the Savior gave her strength each day to go on. vicki and i talked about how amazing it is that she was still able to feel gratitude that day (i honestly would have been so bitter and just cried myself to sleep instead of even trying to count my blessings) and even more amazing that she was able to forgive the people who did those horrible things to her. 
it made me think about how we're so easily offended and can't even bring ourselves to forgive those people who offend us. i definitely have a lot to work on sigh. haha. 

i've been skyping a lot with friends i've made at different stages of my life who have moved due to their jobs or getting married, etc/i have moved away from. it's been so wonderful to catch up with them all and i'm determined to keep up with this whole skype thing. technology is so wonderful. hearing people's voices is one thing; being able to see their smiling faces just warms my heart. 
me making a silly face because cheryl was on the phone and i was just waiting for her hahaha 

speaking of good friends, on saturday i had the chance to attend a dear friend's birthday masquerade ball and it was fun! masquerade balls make for such a classy affair and it's so nice to see the guys suit up and the girls dress up. 
she had it out at a golf club near the lake and it was such an ulu drive but it was a really nice set-up.
we started out with little appetizers and then there were three performances put on by friends of jaymie.

the first performance was a musical number "suit and tie." eliza sang while jonathan accompanied with the guitar. it was really good! eliza has such a smooth voice and it felt like we were at a jazz bar. 
the second performance left me slightly mortified and therefore i didn't even think to take a video hahaha. ty, chris, jarell and branon put on "alone" by sistar (if you're not familiar with sistar, they're a korean girl group that's known for their sexy dance moves hahaha). they called themelves mistar hahaha and omg, watching them shake their butts like that left me speechless but i have to admit that they were really good hahaha. i don't think i could even shake my butt like that haha. i know chris, jarell and branon well and with chris and branon, i wasn't surprised that they would do something like that but jarell really threw me off by participating in that performance hahaha. 
the third performance was a dance cover of exo's growl by alma, shunta, alvin, simon and cameron. when i first heard that they were going to do that number, i was a little hesitant because that is a hard dance. but man, they blew me away and i was so impressed! 
and this time, since i had recovered from my shock, i remembered to take a video after the opening haha (except that blogger is not letting me upload it). 

after the performances, the DJs played music and we had a dance. 
the music was really good (the DJs really did a good job) but i have to admit that i'm a little too old for something like that hahaha. 
if i was still young (18 years old), i would definitely have the energy for that but i just don't have it in me anymore hahaha. oh my. the last time i partied like that was like 5 years ago with the dancers at mambo hahaha. 
so i just hung around with keith and chatted about how we're such old fogeys hahaha. 
and then when shunta started breakdancing in the middle of the dance floor, i nudged keith and was like, "haha that used to be you" hahahahaha. 
i got forced onto the dance floor a couple of times by caressa and branon and just shook it out for a little bit haha but i was very excited when we finally came to the cake cutting part haha. 

jaymie's cake was gorgeous. it was a black and white fondant cake with a mask on the top tier. 
we sang a birthday song, forced jaymie to make a speech and then had cake. 
the cake was mango inside and i later found out that ty was the one who made the cake (i was told wrong. apparently jaymie's neighbor was actually the one who made the cake. still very impressive.) extremely impressive. i wish i had a photo of the cake (i was extremely lazy with photos that night hahaha) because it was definitely not an easy feat for sure. 
the night ended with more mingling and photos and i didn't get home till midnight and was deadbeat but was happy to be able to celebrate a dear friend's birthday. 
an extremely dark photo but here's eliza and jonathan performing suit and tie
the only two photos of the night with my mask haha (i went almost the whole night without taking photos and then when i finally got tired of my mask and took it off after cake, i decided to take photos hahaha).
(left) with tiff tiff! i love love love her shoes! // (right) with two of my favorite girlfriends caressa and tiff
you can kind of see the cake in the first photo // main girl of the night!
more favorite people <3
jarell and chris - half of the mistar group hehe

the masquerade ball made me excited for the holiday season ahead.
here's to more holiday parties with good friends and with my parents in december!
i love the sparkle and dazzle of the holiday season. can't believe we're almost at the end of november and thanksgiving is almost here.
anyway, have a good rest of the week!



  1. I'm so so glad that you had a good time at my party! It meant a lot to me to have you there. :) You're always so good to me, and I am so thankful that we are friends. :) Love you char!

  2. jaymie!
    it was such a classy party and so much fun too. seriously good job, esp. since you planned it in two weeks too!
    i love how you love event planning as much as i do!
    and aww, i feel more blessed to have been invited and to have you in my life! love you too! you're the best!